BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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