hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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