He had one of those small greek statue penises
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
