the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
