Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
