My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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