Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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