"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
