There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
