And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
