We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i will never coherently bang her
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
