standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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