well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
