i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
