this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
