Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
