i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
