chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
