It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
