dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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