your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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