Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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