That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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