it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you didnt know i had herpes?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
