its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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