...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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