If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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