im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
