i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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