He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
