you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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