so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
