non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
