do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
