Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
