she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
