As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
