sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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