I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize