i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
