there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
