so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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