Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize