come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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