My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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