Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
As shirtless as possible
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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