Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
