I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize