I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
