Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
