names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
