i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
