Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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