Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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